Compare

I am a runner.

Well... in the sense that when I'm in a workout phase, running is my go to exersize. 

I have been a runner since I ran cross country in high school. 

To me, its my therapy. 

It is my time to meditate and reflect on my life. 

It makes me feel good. 

I am in complete control of my effort, in complete control of the pain. 

I have always, and will always enjoy running. 

It makes me feel good about myself. 

Until I realized I was comparing myself too much. 

I was comparing times to the ones I ran in high school. 

I was comparing my distance to how far I USED to be able to run. 

And I can't do that.

I cannot completely enjoy a run, if i am just worried about how well I used to do. 

If  I focus on how well I am not doing now. 

I am not a teenager, running 6 miles after school everyday. At this point, I am lucky to run 6 miles in a week (working to that!).

My body is different, my life is different, I am different. 

So why am I comparing myself to what I used to be? To how I used to run? 

Why do we compare ourselves to anyone else, in any situation? 

I am the worst at comparing myself to others. 

Not a day goes by where I don't compare myself to someone else.

But like my running plan, I am going to start focusing more on me and who I am, what positives I have to give, versus what I am not, or what someone else is.

I need to stop comparing me as a runner now, to me as a runner then. 

I need to focus on the positives of now - like that I have ran 3 times this week, that I ran a whole two miles without stopping for the first time in YEARS the other night. 

I need to focus on the fact that I am getting out there and actually doing it. 

 I need to worry about me, now.